A collection of how Voldemort could die
by aprun
Summary: Feeling sad? Feeling bad? Well Voldemort is one scapegoat we don't mind killing!
1. When Terrorism is awesome!

When terrorists are awesome...

"In other news... the terrorist threat remains! 12 different places were bombed in England today. Among which, was little hangleton, a secluded cave..." Many muggles across the world mourned for their fallen brethren. In a secret, more magical world, the populace was celebrating.  
"Harry! Congratulations! How did you do it?" asked an excited Arthur Weasley. Harry smiled a shifty smile that reminded you of a Slytherin. 'Just a little help from friends and a lot of C4," Arthur wanted to ask more about what C4 was but was dragged away by his wife for a little 'adult' celebration. Harry just smirked and ripped out a small pin from an ovalish object...

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me T-T

A/N: This is a series of drabbles or full stories which could be more than one shots if I wanted too...IF I wanted to. But really, while we wait for the 'glorious' seventh book, you're stuck reading the cra... fanfiction here... Enjoy!


	2. Hate for all of you!

Everyone _thinks_ that hate solves nothing. Especially hate that is completely senseless and ongoing... Well this brings us to two very hateful men who happen to hate each other...

_potions classroom_

"50 points from Gryffindor Mr. Potter!" Screamed a very angry Potions Master. "I didn't even do anything!" Retorted Harry Potter. "Another 50 points for insubordination Mr. Potter! Would you like to make it another 50?" Harry's jaw dropped. That was 100 points from Gryffindor. "10 points for looking like a complete dunderhead in my class Mr. Potter. Now leave! I won't take such stupidity in my class!" Harry angrily grabbed his stuff and shoved it in his bag and left the classroom in a huff. "_Damn Snape. Thinks he's so mighty because he's a professor and hates my dad. He's the idiot. Damn it! I wish I could just kill him!_" and so Harry entertained ideas of murdering Snape in slow and gruesome ways. Unfortunately for Snape, teenage hormones tend to make emotions grow...even worse for Snape was that Harry Potter had a connection to Voldemort, his own Lord. Which brings us to another hateful...'man'

_Lord Voldemort's lair_

"argh!" Screamed Voldemort. He was suddenly overcome with fustration, anger, and most of all...hate. Especially for one man, Severus Snape. "He's my Potions Master, and so useful...but he's insolent and values his existence too much," Voldemort said aloud as he contemplated whether to end Snape's existence or not. Then Voldemort was hit with another wave of hatred and Voldemort made his decision. "Pettigrew! Come here!" Peter Pettigrew, the little rat, crawled to his master's side. "Yyyyess Master?" He quivered. "Give me your arm!" Peter held out his arm rather shakily and Voldemort touched the Dark Mark. It took a half an hour, but finally Snape appeared. "I'm sorry for the delay my Lord, but I had to make a sufficient excuse for the old fool for leave from my classes," Snape tried to explain, but Voldemort already cast Crucio on his body. After a few minutes of torture, Voldemort made Snape kneel before him. "Now Snape, is there anyone you consider of better quality than you? Or equal or close skill to you?" Voldemort asked. Snape frowned under his death eater's mask. "My Lord, I am the best and I give all my skill to you," Snape replied. Voldemort screamed out another Crucio at Snape. "Answer truthfully Snape! I know all!" So Snape was forced to give a name, "Di Corella my Lord. He is a fine Potions Master," Voldemort thought carefully as he remembered rumors of his amazing skill. "Good, a wonderful recommendation," Snape's eyes widened at the suggestion. "My Lord?" Snape said in a shaky voice. "Your services are no longer needed Snape. I've suddenly realized how much I've hated you. So much I cannot stand your existence," At this point, Snape lept to his feet and ran to the door to an Apparition point. Unfortunately, there is no escape from Voldemort. "Goodbye Snape," said Voldemort as he raised his wand. Severus Snape refused to go down without a fight and sought his wand. Unfortunately, in a panicked state, could not find his wand except for some potion flasks from his class. Yes, Harry Potter's was among them but Snape didn't know that. So he threw a random one (You should know which one) which hit Voldemort. By pure chance was this very potion fatal. It was made from hate and anger towards a certain potions master. A little bit of fear and aggravation was mixed in with the potion which came from Snape's own presence. And so Harry Potter managed to make a potion never made before which destroyed a person's very essence, no matter where it is as long as a part of a person was put in last. Therefore, Voldemort and his parts of souls were efffectively destroyed and the world was free from evil. However, Voldemort uttered out one last Avada Kedavra at Snape which hit him before he could celebrate.

So you see boys and girls, it is not love and goodwill that makes the world go round', It's hate and anger! In your face Dumbledore!


	3. If Horcruxes didn't exist

If the horcruxes didn't exist...

Harry sighed. He was tired of his constant fight with Voldemort and just wanted to scream. That happens when you're imprisoned in your own home and treated like a house elf. And don't forget being manipulated into doing things you didn't want to do while being kept in the dark. "Forget it! I quit!" Harry went to his writing desk and wrote. When he finished, he taped a chocolate frog to his letter. "Send it to the Dark Lord Hedwig,"

Now normally, owls can't find Voldemort because they're too stupid. Voldemort had put up wards against the oh so stupid animals which made them think of treats and such. However, Hedwig was not a stupid animal and completely faithful to her master. So she ignored these callings and went straight to Little Hangelton to Riddle Manor. She dropped off the letter before she could be eaten by a terribly large snake and flew back to Harry. Pettigrew saw the letter and his eyes grew huge. "Master! Master! There's a letter for you!" Peter squeaked as he ran to his Master's room. "Don't be a fool Pettigrew," Voldemort started off but stopped as he saw the letter clutched in his servant's hand. "Give it here," Voldemort rasped out. In it, he read this.

_Dear Voldemort_,

_We are both very similar. That was what you said to me in second year as a sixteen year version of yourself. Among these common things is a hatred for a one Albus Dumbledore. He refused to help you and is setting me up to murder you. And no matter how evil or heinous you've been, at least you've been truthful. It is with these words I would like accept that invitation you gave me in my first year if it is not to late. If it is not, the only thing I ask is you take me from my relative's awful place. They are the epitome of what you speak of and clearly blood isn't anything. You can say yes by attacking 9 Pivet Drive, Surrey and we can further discuss a blossoming alliance. If not, then please ignore this and continue trying to kill me no matter how 'ingenious' they may seem to be. And whatever you decide, let this frog be a gift from me to you._

_Sincerely,_

_Harry Potter._

Voldemort stared at the letter as if the the words would suddenly change. After 15 minutes, he grinned and held up the frog, "I have won this war Dumbledore!" he cooed. He then popped the frog whole and laughed with delight. However, it is not a good idea to laugh and eat at the same time. Voldemort choked, and gagged, and couldn't call for Pettigrew. Peter was afraid to go in and upset his master incase it was a bad letter so his lord would curse him with the Cruciatus Curse. After an hour, he called up his courage and went in with a tray of food, "Master I..." Peter stared in shock at the decaying figure on the floor. It appeared that Voldemort had been _deathly_ allergic to chocolate as a result of his ritual. The chocolate was burning away his master's body and on either side were ghostly apparitions that could only be described as dementors. This was not the case as they were actually grim reapers, finally taking Tom Riddle's immortal soul. They disappeared to take Riddle's soul to hell and Peter almost fainted with shock. It was then Nagini slithered in to see her master's smoking body and peter's quivering figure. In an act of anger and hunger, she lunged at Peter. Peter, in a stupid shock, changed into his animagus form thoughtlessly. This made it easier for Nagini to eat him. However, a snake eats its victims over a period of time through digestive acids. Peter changed back into his human form and choked Nagini. Peter was already dead from her deadly venom that had pierced his skin. The other death eaters found this when they had gone back to inquire why their mark was gone. They found the letter and the frog in Voldemort's throat, so they reported this all back to the Prophet and Harry was made famous...again. Dumbledore decided to parade Harry as a war hero so Harry decided to quit Hogwarts and transfer to another, lesser school. Before he did, he poisoned all the lemon drops so they acted as laxatives...Dumbledore still blames chocolate.


End file.
